The sensation of drowning

I am writing this post in the desperate hope it is at least somewhat cathartic. It has been a tough couple of months. While watching the little guy grow and develop has been fascinating and wonderful, the nights of waking every couple of hours to feed and comfort him are getting old. I feel like I am swimming against a strong current to get an work done at all, and I so much needs to be done before June; forget about having any time to actually get ready to move across the country and start a new job. All my time is sucked up with the baby and chores, and it is impossible to be productive solving difficult problems with my papers in half hour bursts with distractions. After working unproductively all weekend on coding issues I had been dealing with all week, I was feeling more frustrated than usual yesterday when K’s back gave out again, suddenly and completely. She can’t even sit up without assistance. She spent the morning in urgent care while I tried to minimize C’s exposure to germy undergrads, and now at least has some painkillers that she is allowed to take. Now I am full time caretaker to two people instead of a half time caretaker to one. Will it never end?

Addendum: Mustang came to the rescue, coming down from Seattle on her way back to AK. I think the grandson might have been a pretty strong pull.

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One Response to The sensation of drowning

  1. K says:

    Happy Valentine's Day, darling! Hasn't it been a fun one?! You are an amazing dad, and husband, and scholar. It will get better.

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