Hypothesis/Experiment: If the Captain is fed just as LLF goes down for his nap, then both kids will sleep at the same time and I can get some writing done.
Results: Nurse Captain Jack. Eye my draft in anticipation. Craft a witty bit of dialogue in my head. Look at the baby. Still some wiggling. Wait. Try to look nonchalant. Decide dialogue not as witty as originally thought. Check on baby. Limp. Wait 30 seconds to see if it was a trick. Still limp. Inch baby away from me and towards warm, cozy, utterly delightful flannel blanket that anyone would be proud to nap on. Baby’s eyes pop open. Wailing. Nursing. Attempt to put down. Wailing. Repeat. Clean up erp. Repeat. Change blowout diaper. Repeat. Start to look a little resentfully at both baby and draft that needs revising. Groan and clutch (unbrushed) locks when hear LLF get up from his nap. Notice Captain Jack is asleep. Mutter rude things about children and the horse they rode in on. Put the Captain down, welcome LLF. LLF decides only thing that will console him from a hard wake-up is watching “Everything is Tickety-Boo” by Danny Kaye. Find Tickety-Boo on youtube. Think to self that everything is most decidedly not Tickety-effing-boo. Think of new bit of witty dialogue. Reach stealthily for pen and paper. Suddenly two children are crying. Abandon all hope and watch Tickety-Boo eleven times in a row.
Conclusion: Science proves that your small children can sense desperation and will invariably pounce on it like a pack of starving wolves.