Scraping the Bottom of the Barrel

LLF likes to think up myriad excuses to get out of bed. He knows they have to be legit enough that we’ll do something about them rather than scoffing and sending him to the rightabout. Usually they involve inventive reasons behind a missing diaper, but after being sternly admonished on the topic he needed to find something new.

Never at a loss for long, not two minutes had passed before he reappeared. Sobbing.

LLF: Oh no! (Sob) eeyore-nays toooo long! (Sob)
Me: Eeyore? What? Why are you out of bed??
LLF: Nip-nip! (Sob)
Me: Why are you holding out your hands like you’re ready for a manicure?
LLF: EEYORENAILS!! (Sob) Too long!!
Me: You want me to cut your fingernails?
LLF: Yep. (Sob, still holding hands out like he’s at the spa)
Me: The same fingernails that earlier today you claimed were, and I quote, “Too ‘cary” to trim?
LLF: Yep. (Sob) Eeyore-nails too long!
Me: Points for creativity, but get back in bed you little so-and-so.

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